Being driven crazy from the back seat!

Avast ye landlubbers!

Just thought I would express my opinion on ‘back seat drivers before I leave for the sea.

It was only yesterday that I thought I would drive me and a select group of friends to Birmingham. Some may say a bad idea on a Saturday leading up to Christmas, but what the hell.

So picked them up after dropping off the Tulsa, confused?, good! So we were set to go, but one of the group, for James’ safety I will not say his name, seemed more engrossed in a popular game called World of Warcraft (gagg). Finally after rescuing a fair (crazy) maiden from certain death and a long walk back to her corpse, we set off. I asked for directions, and got back what seemed to be coded instructions. After decoding this he set upon telling me how to drive, “don’t let them out”, “you should be in that lane”, “why are you leaving such a large gap!” And so on. Apparently he does this to his father also!

So it’s time to raise anchor and hoist the mail sail! So long you scurvy sea dogs!

Go on then, just a quick one!

Man this blog writing is tough, it’s been what… 12 days since I started this and this is only the second post.

Anyway just a few things tonight firstly lollipop people (see, that’s me being politically correct!) you would think that as they guide students everywhere across roads, (sometimes into immanent danger! More about that later) might understand the need for visibility, It was only today that on the way to uni, what can only be described as a pair of lollipop people (there I go again) were ‘chatting’ on the edge of the footpath to which they are assigned to patrol. Not only were they blocking view of the driver from oncoming traffic but also ignoring children.

Now, one of the lollipop operatives near me seems to express the need to live life on the ‘edge’ by this I mean she leaps out into traffic. This would be fine if she worked on a quiet street, but no, it’s a busy road. She just spies a teen in the distance and leaps out. On many occasions this has lead to screeching tyres and screaming on my behalf. The thing that really gets me though is the waiting. This is when she sees two teenagers, the first is a few feet away, this in-turn triggers her leaping into the centre of the road, after this she waits… usually for another teen polite you may think, thing is this child is around 3 miles away from her, but she waits and so do we. This does have an advantage as it gives time for insurance details to be swapped.

Anyway that’s enough from me, if I don’t post for another 12 days “good afternoon, good evening and goodnight” x12?
(Burbank 1998, Scene. ?)

Dazed, Confused and Heartbroken all in the Same Day!

Okay, please bear with me (bear is right, I checked it!), this is my first attempt at a blog!

Basically I have been told many times that I should express my ‘moans’ and so this blog was born. The first thing I wish to cover is the lack of stationary shops that sell useful stationary, after being told that I would need to participate in a few presentations in the coming months, I thought it would be a good idea to get some of the acetate that you can print on (staffs uni clearly don’t believe in MS Powerpoint), BAD idea! Upon asking the information services guy, who looks an awful lot like the tall senior warden from ‘The Green mile’ I was told that inkjet acetate “may work”, and that I could just “try it”. After stating this he went on to mutter something about ‘if you break it you will have to pay for it though”! Moron!!

After this I decided I would go speak to the tutorial bloke to see if he had some ‘spare’, it was then that I realised that I have three lecturers that look like people off the telly. I am lectured by Jeremy Beadle & the Mitchell bros. and I have already mentioned the Green Mile guy.

So I decided to go to my local shopping centre, Ankerside…….

Walking through it, card shop to the left of me, phone shop to the right, here I am stuck in the middle of chavs! Anyway I get to Partners and get the same reply, “why don’t you try it?” I explained that I didn’t want to be fleeced for a printer unless they were prepared to except liability, to which I strangely got no reply, hmmmmm…….

So I surrendered and went to Subway, oh subway how I kneel down an kiss the feet of Dr. Peter Buck, but to my horror was told they had no bread, no bread it’s a sandwich shop for heavens sake how can you have NO BREAD, to which the stoned girl replied “we sold it all!?” she seemed confused about my anger.

I returned home, acetate-less and sandwich-less!

I hope the bread returns soon is all I can whisper through my tears of hunger and dismay……